Capitolo 3 :: determining the kinks

Pubblicato: 29-07-06 - Ultimo aggiornamento: 29-07-06

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Wake up, Kaori… Wake up. Wake up! Goddamnit, don’t do this to me! Wake up! WAKE UP!!!  

With a groan, Kaori opened her eyes, quickly shielding them against the bright light of the setting sun, streaming through her bedroom window.  

The blinds lowered in a heartbeat, plunging the room into half-light.  

»How do you feel?« came a husky voice from the corner beside the window.  

»Fine,« she croaked.  

»How do you feel?«  

She swallowed loudly, she didn’t like the tone of his voice. Turning her head slightly, her eyes searched for him in the gloom.  

His dark silhouette stirred slightly.  

»I’m fine,« she repeated more clearly.  

»How do you feel?«  

»Jesus!« Kaori lifted herself on her elbows, but he moved with blinding speed, placing a hand on her chest and pushing her back onto the bed.  

»How do you feel?« he growled directly above her.  

»Fine!«  

»Don’t lie to me!«  

»Stop yelling and let me go!«  

His hand remained where it was, scant inches above her breasts. »I’m not letting you out of this bed! You’re sick!«  

»I’m not sick!« She grabbed his wrist with both her hands. »I told you I’m fine.«  

His breathing grew ragged as the tendons in his wrist coiled beneath her fingers. »You fainted!« I was so scared, Kaori. It was barely a whisper in her head.  

She smiled slightly. »I’m fine, Ryo,« she murmured. »Really. It was just a dizzy-spell, that’s all.«  

»But…«  

»No buts!« Taking his hand, she slowly rose to sit on her bed. »Don’t worry. I just have to eat something other than hospital food and I’ll be as good as new.«  

He watched her, suspicion etched clearly on his face. »Are you sure?«  

»Yes.«  

»Okay, then.« He moved away, keeping his eyes on her face.  

Cocking her head, she watched his expression. It was once again unreadable. She sighed.  

»What is it?«  

She quickly shook her head. »I’m just trying to psych myself to go to the kitchen.«  

He moved to the door. »I’ll go and prepare something nutritional. You take your time.«  

And he was gone.  

Kaori sighed again. She didn’t get it. How was it possible she heard his thoughts only when he was worried about her? Why couldn’t she hear them just now, before he went out of her room? He must have been thinking about something… Anything. Why couldn’t she hear him?  

Was it possible the thoughts were projected only under stress or something like that? He was worried about her, an intense situation, so she heard him? Umibozu was worried about the café being thrashed… but he wasn’t stressed at the hospital, when he was worried about whether the gas was switched off. And Mick wasn’t stressed out when he was wondering, what she saw in Ryo.  

But then… Why could she hear Ryo’s thoughts only sporadically? When she stood over him, swinging her hammer, he smiled and called her his girl. That wasn’t a stressful situation. Why did she hear him? Why has she heard him then and not a few moments back? What was so special about those occasions? She just didn’t understand!  

Clucking her tongue, she slowly stood, testing her legs. They didn’t wobble and her vision was clear. She appeared to be fine, only her belly grumbled, demanding nutrition. She better go and see what her clumsy partner was doing in the kitchen and take over if she wanted to eat anytime soon.  

He was relieved, she didn’t appear to be suffering anything more than a dizzy spell. He’s been so worried, when she went deathly pale at Cat’s Eye, staring down at him with eyes wide and frightened. He’s been scared to death, when she collapsed into his arms. He’s been going crazy, when she was sleeping in her bed. He didn’t know what was wrong with her and that scared him more than anything else.  

Running his fingers through his tousled black hair, he sighed deeply. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, for that matter. Granted, he always went into kooky mode whenever she was in danger, but this time the danger was greater than ever before. This time she’s been hurt, she’s been out for a week, and… And he didn’t want to think about that anymore. He didn’t want to remember the sickening feeling of loneliness, of darkness, oppressing his heart as he sat by her bed, holding her hand at night, praying, begging for her to come back to him, to be okay… Crying.  

He didn’t want to think about what was going on with him lately. They’ve been living and working together for eight years, the better part of which he’s treated her like dirt, ignoring his feelings for her, masking them behind a veneer of indifference, petty tyranny… He’s been going at it for so long, he’s perfected his responses to a fine art. But the second she was in danger all his good intentions of keeping her at a distance, not allowing himself to let her close for fear of losing her, putting her life in jeopardy, went up the chimney and he started acting like a possessive, jealous, overprotective, love-sick lunatic.  

Rolling his eyes, he stirred the soup he was heating for her. Just look at him, he was making her something to eat, when usually it was the other way around… It should be the other way around even this time, but he still wasn’t feeling quite like himself. She was still not well, she was still weak, she was still fragile and in need of protection…  

Clenching his teeth, he glared at the offending soup. He should get a hold onto his boiling emotions, he should get a grip on himself, get back to normal, return to his routine. He shouldn’t think about her in terms of a lover, he should think of her in terms of… Hell, he shouldn’t think about her at all, because then he usually got ideas and those ideas were so hot and bothered, he needed every ounce of his strength of will not to ravish her on the spot.  

Yes, that was a good plan. Stop thinking… Clear the mind… Steel the body… Because she was on her way to the kitchen. He could hear her, feel her presence…  

»Ryo?« There was a smile in her voice.  

Click! And he repressed his thoughts to the deepest recesses of his mind. He was bloody good at doing that.  

Kaori sighed slightly. There he went again. From thinking about her – being scared for her – to absolute nothingness. Grrr! It was so annoying the way he could do that. Because she finally figured out, he was doing it on purpose. He only opened that door, when he was worried about her and couldn’t keep a check on himself. How sweet was that?!  

A dark eyebrow climbed as she just stood there in the middle of the kitchen, staring at him with a beaming smile on her face.  

Kaori started munching on her lower lip. Why did he keep a check on himself? What was so wrong about thinking of her? What she managed to hear earlier was nothing big. If she forgot about the baby-sweetheart thing. They’ve been living and working together for eight years now, it was normal for them to be thinking about each other. She certainly thought about him every waking minute of every single day, only her thoughts weren’t as pure as his have been. So why did he just switch everything off, when she neared the kitchen?  

»Would you just sit down and eat?«  

Kaori snapped out of her reverie. »Huh?«  

Ryo motioned his head toward the table and the steaming cup of soup. »Eat.«  

As she sat at the table, he moved toward the door.  

»Where are you going?«  

»Out.« He didn’t look at her. »You said yourself you were fine, didn’t you? So I’m going to have a little fun.« The whole was followed by a stupid cackle.  

Kaori could imagine the drop of drool in the corner of his mouth. Things were back to normal all right. Except she was hearing his thoughts… Sometimes, anyway.  

Standing, she followed him to the living room. He was already at the door. »Ryo?«  

He turned.  

She smiled. »Thank you.«  

He smiled back. »You’re welcome.« Beautiful.  

As the door closed behind his back, her smile spread into a grin. 

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